Grace’s musings: Have we forgotten what a ‘real’ face looks like?

We’ve seen a whole host of midlife women on the red carpet this awards season – most prominent among them Demi Moore, 62, lauded for her role in The Substance, a satirical body horror about the pressures of ageing. What a comeback she’s staged – and how ironic, given that she pretty much retired from Hollywood at the ripe old age of 34.

My takeaway from The Substance – and an idea we’re increasingly seeing in the celebrity world – is that “natural” (by which I mean untweaked) ageing is now considered peculiar, whereas weird-looking plastic surgery is becoming ever more normalised.

Just look at the flak directed at the gorgeous Isabella Rossellini, who showed up at awards season for Conclave wearing what I suspect is her actual face. Unsurprisingly for a woman of 72, she had the odd wrinkle, but the comments on social media were savage. Have we all lost sight of the fact that this is what our mid-seventies look like without surgery?

Other “older” women on the red carpet this season included Nicole Kidman, who, at 57, is still one of the most prolific actors in the world; the talented Cate Blanchett, 55; kick-ass Michelle Yeoh, 62; Pamela Anderson, 57, enjoying a brilliant second coming; and the always marvellous Helen Mirren, 79.

Thinking back 20 years, when there seemed to be precisely zero midlife women on the red carpet, you’ve got to admit we’ve come a long way. But some segments of society today still consider even these big names to be “old” in a very negative way – and judge them harshly for their aesthetic choices.

The question that’s often asked, of course, is whether they have had surgery. And there’s still a problem with the rhetoric around this, both for those who’ve had procedures so subtle that they’re barely noticeable, and those with very visible work on show. Why not just be open about it? Because when those high-profile women claim that the disappearance of their jowls is all down to drinking three litres of water and taking supplements each day, that doesn’t help the rest of us.

We have a choice with our ageing faces – at least we do if we’re rich and fortunate – and that has to be a good thing. And it’s about more than just finding the best foundation for mature skin. But has Hollywood actually forgotten what a “real” 55-year-old looks like? And is the reason it’s now celebrating older women because they look, in fact, as youthful as the under-forties? Or is that just me being cynical?

I’m all for a midlifer’s right to choose – but why not be honest about it? As The Telegraph’s head of fashion, Lisa Armstrong, said **last month: “To those of us who haven’t quite forgotten, looking at someone who’s had obvious work done is a bit like having lunch with someone who’s got spinach stuck in their teeth. You don’t know them well enough to say anything. But in the long run, might it not be kinder to have this all out in the open so that the rest of us understand exactly why ‘They’ look so different from **‘Us’?”

Let’s ditch the shame around tweakments, lift the veil on surgery and allow everyone to age in the way that they wish. That way, the judgment might stop – and the conversation finally begin to move on.