I’ve always thought of anniversaries as a time to celebrate, but as I reflect on the three years since losing my mum and a year since I lost my dad, I realise they can also be a time to mourn.
Not in the way I grieved in the early days with so much pain and desperation, but a time to consciously miss them and hold them close again.
With both mum and dad, it was sudden and I never had the chance to say goodbye. I’d always assumed I’d have more time to say how much they truly meant to me; how much I loved them.
They were my guiding light, a lighthouse out at sea calling me home for my whole life. My roots, my sense of history and the bedrock of my existence ended when they did – and there’s no age that can make it easier to bear.
My parents loved me unconditionally. Their support was limitless and they were my greatest advocates. I was accepted completely, without judgement or stipulation, and they were always, always there for me.
It’s through losing this support that I’ve realised the value in making time to mourn. These anniversaries are a time when, even though my parents are gone, I can reach out to others who loved them and create new ties to bind us to a shared love and common history.
By openly sharing not only the sense of loss and sadness but also the love, I’ve found healing. It’s as though by creating a set time for their passing to be acknowledged I’ve made it easier to live the days without them.
Most importantly, as I commemorate the passing of another year, I realise how very quickly time passes and how, all too often, we can waste time living in the past when the present vanishes so quickly.
How important it is to live life. Follow your dreams always and make every moment count.
Every minute someone we love leaves us behind.
We are all in “the line” without knowing it.
We never know how many people are before us.
We cannot move to the back of the line.
We cannot step out of the line.
We cannot avoid the line.
So, while we wait in line -
Make moments count.
Make the time.
Make your gifts known.
Make a nobody feel like a somebody.
Make your voice heard.
Make the small things big.
Make someone smile.
Make the change.
Make sure to tell your people they are loved.
Make sure to have no regrets.
Make sure you are ready.