GRACE'S MUSINGS: LOVE your age!
When I conducted a survey a few years ago on whether ageing is positive, I was shocked to find that 42% of respondents saw it as a negative experience. But here’s the thing - now in my 50s, I can confidently say: I LOVE my age!
Of course, I’ve had those moments of wishing I was younger, resisting the label of ‘middle-aged’, and feeling invisible or less valued. But the truth is, time only moves forward. Wasting energy on trying to turn back the clock is a losing battle - one that will only leave you disillusioned, frustrated, and unhappy.
My perspective is largely shaped by my own beautiful mum, who always told me: ‘Focus on what you have, not what you don’t.’ That advice rings truer than ever when it comes to the subject of ageing.
I won’t pretend that I don’t have down days. When I do, I remind myself of everything I have to be grateful for. And that’s not just some ‘psycho-Grace’ positivity trick—science backs it up. Research from 40 separate studies demonstrates that practising gratitude improves mood, strengthens relationships, and even enhances longevity.
And let’s not forget that ageing brings plenty of positives—physically, emotionally, and psychologically. I was thrilled to learn, for example, that we actually get smarter as we age. (You better believe I shared that fact with my somewhat cynical 18-year-old daughter!) Our vocabulary, problem-solving abilities, and spatial awareness improve well into our 40s and 50s.
But beyond the science, there are other, less measurable things to be grateful for. Here are my top three:
1. Self-Acceptance
I’ve truly learned to appreciate and accept who I am. That doesn’t mean I think I’m perfect—it means I embrace my strengths and acknowledge my weaknesses without self-criticism. I no longer waste energy trying to be someone else, and that has been incredibly freeing.
I worry far less about what others think, trust myself more, and recognise that my value isn’t tied to my looks or career. The biggest shift? Self-compassion. I used to be my harshest critic, constantly holding myself to impossible standards. Letting go of that negativity has done wonders for my self-worth and self-esteem.
2. Better Relationships
The older I get, the more I realise that time is my most valuable asset. I work hard to let go of the trivial and focus on what truly matters—something that’s not always easy in today’s fast-paced world!
Losing my mum was a heartbreaking reminder of just how precious time is. I would give anything for more time with her, and that experience reinforced my commitment to cherishing every moment with the people I love.
3. Emotional Stability
Looking back, my younger years were filled with emotional highs and lows—a rollercoaster full of drama! With age, I’ve gained a sense of emotional stability that allows me to handle life’s challenges with more grace and resilience. Maybe it’s because we become savvier at navigating the stresses, challenges, or conflicts we face?
I also feel stronger emotionally because I think I’ve embraced vulnerability. I’m comfortable admitting when I’m struggling, asking for help, and showing my emotions. Brené Brown’s TED Talk on the power of vulnerability remains one of my favourites, and I wholeheartedly agree with her belief that ‘what makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful.’
That’s my list—now I’d love to hear yours!
Every day, I work hard not to fall into the trap of focusing on the negatives of ageing. Instead, I choose to be grateful, to stay positive, and to reject society’s endless ‘older women’ bashing. Life is too short not to embrace every stage of it with joy and appreciation.
