GRACE'S MUSINGS: Wise years, celebrating the count

I’m 58 today – which means a birthday letter to you all. Setting my thoughts out on screen helps me to focus inwards. I can look back on my year, celebrate all I’ve achieved and create goals for the future. And my birthday wish? That hasn’t changed: it’s a fervent desire for an ageless society, free of prejudice and sexist stereotypes.

I feel like things are shifting. Life expectancy for women in developed economies is increasing and, with it, the perception of age is changing too, chipping away at the notion that we have to adopt some sort of persona that is “age-appropriate”.

Frankly, I’ve never felt less ready for a blue rinse. And I’m delighted that we’re getting more vocal in challenging misguided ideas about what midlife “should” look like. Which is one reason I love a dancing Instagram Reel.

So how do I feel on the inside, numbers notwithstanding? Unsurprisingly, not that different to the way I felt in my thirties and forties. I’m proud of the wisdom I’ve gained (even if I don’t always feel very wise) as well as the confidence I’ve built – but deep down, I’m essentially the same dancing Grace.

And that’s really the point, isn’t it? It’s a numbers game. The digits click up, but the core of who we are, our values and needs, remain the same. I’m the person I was yesterday – with a little bit more added strength. I still won’t let my age define me.

The one thing I am thinking more about is wellbeing, though. Numerous studies over the past few years have shown that our “biological age” might, in fact, be a better marker of health than our chronological age.

The term “biological age” essentially refers to how old our cells are, based on physiological evidence. There’s a lot that can influence it, including diet, exercise, stress, smoking, sleeping habits and our physical environment.

So for me, this next year is going to be all about living in the healthiest way I can. Putting the best into my body, but not fretting about the things I can’t control. Age can bring with it a whole heap of positives: not just emotional and psychological, but physical, too. I’m still fitter than I ever was in my thirties, more settled and less stressed.

Of course, like many of you, I’ll have the occasional moment of wishing I were younger – so that others wouldn’t label me “middle-aged”, for starters. Because then the negative self-talk can kick in: the idea that I’m less visible, less attractive and of less value to society.

But what difference does that “middle-aged” tag really make to me as a person? It doesn’t mean I behave or dress any differently. It’s simply a matter of other people’s misguided perceptions. I can’t turn back the clock – and trying to do so would only make me unhappy. So I strive to live in the now and be as present as I possibly can.

My mum used to tell me to focus on what I had, not what I didn’t – a sage piece of advice that I’ve tried hard to follow the older I get. It’s about reframing the way I think about things to achieve a more positive mindset. I make a daily gratefulness list – but you could just as easily practise mindfulness or meditation. There’s lots of research to suggest that all these approaches can improve our mood, our relationships and even our longevity.

So here’s to more birthdays, more years in which to do more, say more, be more. More time to move forward with the PRO-AGE movement, more demolishing of the age-related attitudes and stereotypes that seek to undermine us.

When I look at my daughters’ generation, I’m filled with hope. The work we’re doing now means that as they approach midlife, they’ll have to deal with so much less of this rubbish.

Paying it forward is a great feeling. Let’s bring on 58 – the year of living moreishly.

Love, Grace