IN CONVERSATION WITH: Michele Paradise

As a former model, NLP practitioner and trauma therapist, Michele Paradise is a powerhouse of inspiration with over 20 year of experience in overcoming people-pleasing behaviours.

As a ‘recovering people pleaser’ herself, Michele is an incredible role model for anyone striving to rediscover their inner strength and says “Reclaiming personal power starts with recognising that prioritising your own needs and values is not only acceptable but essential.”

You’ve made a fascinating transition from being a model to a trauma-informed therapist. What inspired that shift, and how did your 20 years of experience in the modelling world shape the way you approach your work today?

My transition from the modelling world to becoming a trauma-informed therapist was deeply personal. After two decades in an industry that often emphasises external appearance, I became acutely aware of how much inner pain can be masked by outward perfection. My journey of self-discovery and healing inspired me to help others move past surface-level appearances and address the deeper wounds that hold them back.

The lessons I learned during my modelling career profoundly shaped my work as a therapist. I witnessed firsthand the pressures, insecurities, and struggles that people in high-pressure industries face. This experience taught me to look beyond what is visible and approach my clients with deep empathy and curiosity about their internal world. I draw on my understanding of resilience and self-image to help clients reconnect with their authentic selves and find healing.

In your experience, what are the most common signs that someone is stuck in a cycle of people-pleasing, and What’s a quick tip for someone who struggles with saying “no” to others?

One of the most common signs of being stuck in a cycle of people-pleasing is consistently putting others' needs ahead of your own, often at the expense of your well-being. People-pleasers may struggle with setting boundaries, feel guilt or anxiety when saying "no," or derive their self-worth from external validation. Over time, this can lead to exhaustion, resentment, and a loss of connection with their true selves.

For someone who struggles with saying “no,” a helpful quick tip is to start small. Practice saying “no” to low-stakes requests in a kind but firm way, such as, “I can’t help with that right now, but I hope it works out.” This builds confidence and reinforces that setting boundaries is not about being selfish—it’s about self-respect and protecting your energy for what truly matters.

Living in London must bring its own unique energy! How do you think the fast-paced, sometimes ‘hard-edged’ London lifestyle influences people’s relationship patterns, like people-pleasing or narcissism?

London's fast-paced, high-pressure environment often amplifies the tendencies of people-pleasing and narcissism in unique ways. The city's culture of achievement and constant comparison can create a dynamic where people feel the need to prove their worth through over-commitment or seeking external validation. For people-pleasers, this might mean overextending themselves in relationships or prioritising others’ needs to avoid conflict or rejection. Meanwhile, for those with narcissistic traits, the competitive nature of London life may intensify a focus on status, success, and appearances.

This "hard-edged" lifestyle can make it challenging to maintain authentic, balanced relationships. People often feel stretched thin, leaving little time to nurture themselves or build meaningful connections. However, recognising these patterns and understanding the role the environment plays is the first step toward creating healthier dynamics. It's about finding ways to slow down, reconnect with your values, and set boundaries that honour both yourself and your relationships.

Reclaiming personal power is such an important part of setting healthy boundaries. What’s one empowering habit or mindset shift you’d recommend for someone who’s just starting on that journey to take back control of their life?

Reclaiming personal power starts with recognising that prioritising your own needs and values is not only acceptable but essential. One empowering mindset shift I suggest is to view boundaries as an act of self-respect rather than something selfish. Setting boundaries isn’t about shutting people out—it’s about creating space to flourish and fostering healthier relationships.

A practical habit to support this shift is to pause before agreeing to any request. Try asking yourself, “Does this align with my values and what I can manage right now?” Taking a moment to reflect helps you respond thoughtfully rather than out of obligation. Over time, this builds confidence in your ability to make choices that truly serve you, strengthening your sense of personal empowerment.

How do you stay grounded and focused in your own life, especially in a world full of distractions?

Staying grounded in a world full of distractions starts with intentionality. For me, creating small daily rituals helps anchor my day and keeps me connected to what truly matters. Whether it’s a morning walk to clear my mind, journalling, or simply setting time aside to reflect, these moments help me pause amidst the busyness.

I also make a point to limit distractions by prioritising what aligns with my values. It’s easy to get swept up in the noise, but I find that regularly checking in with myself—asking what I truly need or want—helps me stay focused and maintain balance. It’s about finding those pockets of calm that keep you centred, no matter how chaotic the world feels.

Who has been your greatest inspiration?

My greatest inspiration has been Dr. Gabor Maté. His work on trauma and how it shapes our lives has profoundly influenced both my personal healing journey and my approach as a therapist. His ability to bring compassion and clarity to complex issues has taught me the importance of creating a safe, empathetic space for clients to explore their experiences.

On a more personal level, I’ve also been inspired by the resilience of my clients. Seeing their courage to confront difficult truths and work toward transformation reminds me daily of the power we all have to heal and reclaim our lives. It’s an honour to be part of that journey.

What’s the hardest challenge you’ve had to face/overcome?

The hardest challenge I’ve had to overcome was healing from my own experiences of narcissistic abuse. It required me to unpick years of conditioning, rediscover my sense of self, and rebuild my confidence. It wasn’t a straightforward journey—there were moments of self-doubt and times when it felt overwhelming—but it taught me resilience and the importance of self-compassion.

This experience not only shaped me personally but also deeply informs my work as a therapist. It’s given me a unique perspective and empathy for others navigating similar challenges. Knowing that it’s possible to move from surviving to thriving drives my passion for helping others reclaim their lives.

Accomplishment you’re most proud of?

The accomplishment I’m most proud of is transforming my own personal challenges into a career where I can help others heal and grow. Transitioning from the world of modelling to becoming a trauma-informed therapist was a significant shift, but it allowed me to draw on my experiences to connect with clients in a deeply authentic way.

I’m especially proud of the impact I’ve been able to make through my work, whether it’s supporting clients in breaking free from destructive patterns, helping them rediscover their inner strength, or raising awareness about issues like narcissistic abuse. Seeing others reclaim their power and thrive is incredibly rewarding—it’s a privilege to be part of their journey.

Top beauty ‘must-have’ in your makeup bag?

For me, it has always been a blusher. I have very pale skin and light eyebrows and eyelashes, and I can look washed out easily. I’ve probably got over 20 blushers because I can’t find the right one. They’re either too heavy or too pigmented. I recently discovered Plumping Blush Glow-plexion and absolutely love it. It’s now my go-to blusher because it brightens my eyes and skin without looking heavy, as well as being sheer and glowy!

And finally, your favourite quote to live by?

It’s a quote by Maya Angelou and I love her books, her poetry and her quotes, especially this one. “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”