Grace’s Musings: You’re Beautiful
How often do you look back at old photographs of yourself in your twenties and thirties, and think, “Wow, I was beautiful. But I felt really ugly back then?” We judge ourselves so harshly in the moment. Often, it’s only in hindsight that we realise how great we looked. Why do we do it to ourselves?
Clinical psychologist and author Dr Amanda Hanson turns this way of thinking on its head. I love her work – she values women who are “done hiding and apologising for their existence”. On her Instagram account, @midlife.muse, she talks about the realisation that we are beautiful right now, reframing the thought for the present moment.
“When you’re in your seventies, eighties and nineties,” she says, “you’re gonna look at pictures of yourself now and think, ‘Wow, I really was more beautiful than I ever gave myself credit for, than I ever allowed myself to experience or feel.’’’ Just think about it for a moment. She’s right. So why do we have such a tough time believing it?
Her advice? “Stop berating yourself. Allow yourself to be in the energy, decide to feel beautiful and enjoy this time celebrating your body, and all that already is.”
As women in midlife, we find it hard to think this way. It’s tough for us to be present in the moment, to give thanks for what we have. How can we change that? One way is to practise mindfulness. It can enrich our lives in all kinds of ways.
Think about how often we’re oblivious to the beauty of the now – not just when we look at ourselves in the mirror, but in everything we do. We’re constantly distracted, anxious, reliving the past or worrying about the future. And that messes with our head. Being in the moment is vital for our wellbeing. It can improve our relationships, reduce stress from overthinking, enhance focus, help manage anxiety, boost emotional intelligence and promote self-love.
Living in the moment can encourage a deeper connection with ourselves, fostering self-compassion, self-esteem – and, crucially, self-acceptance. We can learn to give ourselves a break.
Hanson’s work is a blend of traditional psychology and ancient feminine wisdom – the kind that society has intentionally wiped from the lives of modern women. Her ideas align perfectly with what we believe at Studio10: she’s there for those who are “ready to claim their sense of self-worth, connect with their magnetic feminine energy and rediscover what it actually means to be a woman”.
We’re all well aware how hard it is for women to look in the mirror and love the person they see looking back at them. Society bombards us with messages that we need to be younger, cooler, thinner, have fewer wrinkles, a better wardrobe. It’s no wonder we struggle to accept ourselves. But we have to try. We’re beautiful – just as we are.
Love, Grace
