Grace’s Musings: Old-Lady Energy? Bring It On

“Old-lady energy” is a phrase that’s caused some controversy of late. Allure magazine used it in a headline when celebrating the many actresses over 50 nominated for the Golden Globes this year – and the internet exploded with negativity. But are these words ageist or, in fact, just the opposite?

For me, it’s all about context. The woman that wrote the story, Valerie Monroe, is 74 years old. Under the headline “Old-Lady Energy Flexed Its Well-Toned Muscles at the Golden Globes”, she praised the 16 women over 50 (and 60 and 70) on the awards list. They included Demi Moore (62) for The Substance and Jodie Foster (also 62) for True Detective, along with Pamela Anderson (57), Nicole Kidman (also 57), Isabella Rossellini (72) and Viola Davis (59). “Is that change we smell in the air?” Monroe asked.

I certainly hope so. The idea that older women are actually in their prime has at last begun to infiltrate Hollywood. They’re portraying characters whose lives are enviable and complex, even as they age. And they’re sexually appealing, too. That’s a huge change from 2019, when research noted that the majority of older women in films were often relegated to supporting roles, where they consistently played characters who were grumpy, frumpy or senile.

So when Monroe talked about the nominees’ “old-lady energy”, what was she really saying? She wasn’t trying to offend, that’s for sure. “At 74, I don’t consider the words ‘old lady’ derogatory,” she said. “But, wow, a lot of you certainly do.” She listed some of the negative comments she’d received:

“‘Old lady?’ That is such a demeaning way to phrase this. Insulting actually. Please do better.”

“Old??? Are you really calling these gorgeous women old?”

“Do better please. This headline is sooooo ageist.”

I agree with Monroe when she says that what’s ageist, in fact, is believing the word “old” to be the worst kind of insult. She’s so right. These actresses are members of our very own cohort, a bunch of gifted, beautiful, ambitious, complicated, fiery women in their prime. The naysayers who believe calling them “old” is insulting should meet a few of the PRO AGERS I know: the “old ladies” who are starting their own businesses, travelling solo around the world, going back to university, living their most authentic lives. These women have value. And if anyone considers them decrepit, frail or unfortunate, they need to rethink their attitude. Frankly, it stinks.

Hairstylist Sam McKnight (69) got straight to the point when he wrote of the debate: “Maybe it’s about de-taboo-ing that word. I love being old, suits me better than being young, and am proud of it. I guess it’s all in the intention.”

Society needs to get on board with its celebration of the power, complexity and radiance that come with age. Women in midlife and beyond are just as valuable as their younger sisters. Life doesn’t stop for us at 50. So let’s celebrate that old-lady energy. Bring it on. In the words of Helen Reddy (more or less): “I am (old) woman. Hear me roar.”